Living In Earnest
Never show them any sign of weakness. As soon as they see it, I will never be safe.I took solace in the knowledge that nothing they did could truly ever hurt me. The only thing that I feared would be giving in. I can't let them win. Not ever. I looked at myself in the mirror. I leaned in close, carefully inspecting my eyes. I stared deep into the black of my pupils. Is there life on Mars I wondered. A pounding on the door broke me from my trance.
"What ARE you doing in there! I won't have any son of mine stuck in all day." My heart began to race. It was enough she had control every aspect of my life, but the thing that really irked me was the way her voice would inexplicably raise in pitch at random intervals. I would always grit my teeth when she did it, and in that moment I wish I could slam her face into the
"Mom, for fuck sake, give me some damn privacy. Jesus..."
"You want privacy, find somewhere ELSE to live. Perhaps if you LIVED somewhere else, you could get a